750 Words

(I type everyday at 750words.com.  This was todays entry.  Straight and uncut.)

I almost missed it today.  I was reading my Google Reader stuff.  If Faith had succeeded in sending me to Jack in the Box I would have blown my streak.  40 days today I think.

that is how long Jesus was in the desert being tempted.  I haven't suffered anything like he did.  I don't really deserve to wear his name.  My only consolation is that none of us do.  We are not worthy.  We are declared worthy, and then made worthy by his name.

I was watching Ip Man the movie on Hulu earlier.  I guess it is like being a student of someone.  We are their student, not their equal, or their twin.  We grow to be a bit more like them in one way or another, but not in all ways.  We are still ourselves, just with a bit of an overlay changing one facet of our lives.

Except, with Jesus, it should change every facet of our lives.  I'm not saying I'm going to grow a beard and learn to speak Aramaic or Greek.  Nor do I plan on upsetting the current religious regime enough that they trump up charges and sell me to the political tyrants in charge.

But, I should be more like him.  Caring and loving.  Sacrificing.  I have a lot of "things" but nothing, other than my Self, that I can sacrifice.  the problem with living sacrifices is that they keep crawling off the altar.  Its an old saying, but still true.  I have laid my life on the altar multiple times, and still I find myself living my own life.

there are many problems with organized religion.  We tend to push not just our beliefs but also our culture on another group.  Hence, the name the "missionary position."  As I understand it, this was the only accepted sexual position God wanted.  And missionaries forced many others to adapt.  Government, dress, government.  Language, etc.  It was all an attempt to make them like us, because we are Christians.  So, to be Christians, they must be clones of us, our habits, our dress, our styles of speech, music, entertainment.  Everything must be like us.

No wonder so many people see Christianity as a European, white man's religion.  It didn't originate with us, but European's certainly were effective at sharing it.  I wonder how much success was at the point of a gun, much like Islam "conquered" Arabia and northern Africa by the sword.  It wasn't Islam as much as it was religious zealots backed by armed might.  Convert or die is a persuasive argument.  whether it be Christianity or Islam, much conversion was done by force.

I wonder how this should be interpreted by that phrase of Jesus' when he said the gospel suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.  It has been violated.  the muslims claim that terrorists do not truly represent Islam.  And I say the Crusaders don't represent the best side of Christianity.

We are both at fault.  Of course, trace our roots back to Judaism and they were commanded to decimate, no, to obliterate and remove their enemies from their midst.  Not to convert, but to slay them all.  Complete irradication.  That doesn't sound like the God I serve, but it is in the Bible.  I have to believe it.  I can see reasons for it, too.

All filthiness must be removed.  All temptation.  All impurities.  Despite what they were commanded to do, they still fell again and again into idolatry.  Now, what do we have to say for ourselves?  We are mixed into the civilization around us, and commanded to be salt and light, a preserving and guiding force for the countries and communities we live in.  Thermostats instead of thermometers. 

What changed?  We are the ones who are supposed to be changed.  Israel was isolated from the nations, commanded to be separate as an example to them.  A Light among the Nations.  We, Christians, are given the Spirit individually to carry into our personal lives.  We are not alone.  We are not isolated.  We are carriers.  We are changers, movers and shakers.  We are the yeast in the dough.  We have been sent into the world, not to be OF it, but, still, in it, making changes wherever we go.

Not with the sword, as many religions and cultures did through the ages, but with our lives and our blood.  A daily sacrifice lived to enhance and enrich the lives of others, and not to please ourselves.

What I learned today

I sat down while the kids were at school, and decided to work on my GM/DM/AM/referee skills a bit. That's Game/Dungeon/Adventure Master. I've been reading a lot of blogs about how to be better, tips for newbies, and general improvement. Most of them agree on the first rule: This is a game. Games are fun. If it isn't fun, do something about it.

What makes it fun? Personal involvement for one. The players need to be emotionally attached to whats going on in our shared world. I want them to want to slay the BBEG (Big Bad Evil Guy/Girl). Because he is messing with their friends and their family. He is the one who set fire to the General Store. He burned down the Warrens. He is sacrificing the towns people. He is planning ... well, you get the idea. Emotional involvement on their part will make the gaming experience much more intense and memorable.

We did not actually sit down and "play" tonight. I reviewed my notes from our first session where we generated their characters. Luxord is a human fighter. Stevo is an elven mage. Sonic and Zoey are halfling rogues. I discovered some ... things ... about my children. When I summarized those things, it surprised me. My son's characters wanted to improve themselves, just to be the best. The best fighter. The best wizard. (His master sent him away because he couldn't teach him anything more.) My daughter wanted to go out and help people. Wow. What a difference. I've never really seen them in that light before, and it was an eye-opener. I'm not sure its a totally accurate representation of them as individuals though. But, I do think they are too young and inexperienced to create characters totally unlike themselves. Frankly, I'm surprised my daughter is playing a male character at all. (This is cute though. He's on the road to be with her. He got lost. He seems fairly clueless and inept. I wonder if this says something about her view of men in general, or someone in particular.)

After supper, I pulled my daughter over, and talked with her about her two characters, Zoey and Sonic. I knew they were cousins, but where did they come from? A farm. Why are they out on the road? To help other people. What skills do they have? Parents? Siblings? Home life? Village, forest, mountain, farm, city? We sculpted the background of her characters, and it was fun for both of us.

Then on to my son's two, Luxord and Stevo. Luxord's parents died when he was 15. Stevo's died when he was 15, too. (That doesn't look good for me, but, he's reading the Harry Potter books. So, I hope its a HP thing, and not a wish to be orphaned.) Luxord's little brother is apprenticed to a blacksmith, while Luxord does odd jobs. "Oh, you're a loafer," said Faith. "No!" "Yes!" we both said. "You won't get a job. You just do enough to earn money when you need it." "No!" Well, that's what it sounds like to us. Stevo was apprenticed to a wizard when he was 40. (Stevo is an elf, so ages and timelines are ... weird.) What did he do in the intervening 25 years? We don't know. Loaf? Odd jobs? He said he'll have to think about it.

When we were done, he said character/world building was just as much fun as actually playing. Cool. I think so too. I also learned quite a bit about my children as I reviewed my notes. I hope this game of ours proves to be character building in more than just one way.

Fighting Dust Bunnies

We're still hard at work. But not cleaning. Well, a little bit, I guess.

The kids and I continue our fantasy role playing game. They were staying in the Inn of the Burning Heart, but got evicted by the owner/operator, Tusk. It seems they've been going out and slaying skeletons and zombies, and stirring up trouble. The more they kill, the more come out of the Woods and attack the town. They even burned down the General Store.

So, they had no place to live. Garrett, the sheriff, says, "Hey, how about the old haunted house. You can live there, since its abandoned. Of course, you're going to have to 'clean it out first.'"

So, what do you find in an old abandoned house? Whose owners mysteriously disappeared? Giants rats and feral dogs. Vines growing out of the walls. Oh, and rabid vampire dust bunnies!

You know what those are, don't you? You certainly expect to find dust bunnies in any house. But this one is rife with bad mojo. Soooo, vampire bunnies meets dust bunnies. The brave adventurers walk into an innocuous, though dirty, room. Once inside, dust bunnies come out of the corners and from under the bed, surrounding them. They're doing okay, then Luxord the Human Fighter (my son), rolls a critical fumble. (That means on a 20-sided die, he rolled a one. Not only did he miss, he ended up hitting himself.) He sliced his leg wide open, and the bunnies smelled blood. Oooooohhhh.

You should've seen their faces when I told them that the dust bunnies were vampire dust bunnies. Their teeth lengthened and sharpened, their eyes turned red, and little bat wings popped up. They took flight and swarmed towards Luxord, who was already bleeding freely. Snarling and snapping and zipping around the room. (Of course, there was very little danger to the adventurers, but they don't know that yet. They haven't played RPG's enough.)

Finally, the last vampire dust bunny (I just can't say that enough) bites the dust. No pun intended. An explosion of dust and dirt and teeth and tiny little bat wings that leaves the adventurers coughing and sneezing. What does Luxord do? He suggests they go to sleep. Its got to be, what, 11am now? Yeah, thats right. 11am, and he wants to sleep so his fighter can get his hit points (health) back.

Yeah, sure, I say. You won't to go to sleep in a house that you haven't fully explored yet. And then wake up at night when the zombies and skeletons are up and about. Are you sure about that? The face on his face was priceless. Everyone else burst out laughing.

That is why I play this game with my kids. What do you think? Any ideas? Tips? What do you do to connect with your kids?

The Adventures Continue ...

So far, our family game time has been a mixed success. The kids love it. I love it. Faith won't play, but I'm not blaming her. Its just not her thing.

Unfortunately, each game can from one hour, to four or more, and it takes a fair amount of prep time, which I'm not getting during Christmas Break. I'm not getting much free time period during "vacation." I'm sure most parents know what this is like. But, the kids go back to school on Monday. Then, I can go back to playing games, reading, writing, surfing the internet, and now "prepping."

This "prepping" is a lot like writing for me. I need to know characters, their histories, motivations, ethics, and so forth and so on. I need to know the lay of the land, politics, religion, politics, natives (human, non-human, aggressive, etc.) It is "creation" at its greatest. I love it. But instead of typing it all up and posting it, I get to live it with my children.

They each have two characters they are running. Ryan has a human fighter named Luxord, who left home to see the world. He heard stories of his father's youth and how exciting it was, so left when he was big enough. His other character is an elfin mage named Stevo. (Steve-o? Well, its his character, I guess.) He was trained for years by a local wizard, who finally told him he had taught him all he could (which left him as a level one? whatever).

Hope has two halfling rogues. I guess she likes rogues, and halflings. *shrug* Hers are cousins named Zoey and Sonic (which is Ryan's current favorite video game). They left home because Zoey wanted to go out and help people. Sonic justed wants to be with Zoey.

I laid out a piece of paper, and started drawing a map for them of the town they started in. On a hill, I drew a large building. They both automatically knew it was a church, and Ryan's first response was "I need to buy good clothes. I can't wear armor to church." lol That's too funny. Now, if I can just get him to stop wearing shorts and t-shirts to church IRL (In Real Life.)

They (Zoey & Luxord) found lodging in a local inn. After a day or two, Ryan realized they needed to go find jobs, so they could continue living in-doors, and eating, and buying other supplies.

I've learned a couple things about my children from this time. First, both are fairly timid. They run into one monster, and immediately want to run back home and heal up, rather than pushing on. I don't suppose that is a bad thing, in children. But adults? Well, we'll see how they turn out.

Secondly, they are somewhat responsible. Hope's first order of business was to secure room and board. They don't sleep in the woods. They don't hunt. They don't break and enter. (I'm not sure she knows what a "rogue" is.) Ryan suggested they find jobs to support themselves. Most gaming experiences I've been through didn't involve jobs. It was usually "kill things and take their stuff" to make money. They may get to that point, but right now they have jobs.

I see places in the game where they aren't doing things the way I would. I suppose their age and inexperience is the reason for that. They haven't played a game like this before. But, then again, they haven't had much experience at life either. Both of these will change.

Oh, I just have to add, after our last gaming session, Ryan said it was more exciting than video games. High praise indeed.

Connecting with Ryan

About a year ago, a friend told me about "Knights of the Dinner Table," a comic book about old-school table-top RPGer's. (That's "role playing game", for those who don't know.) The most (in)famous today would be World of Warcraft. Back in the day, it would have been Dungeons & Dragons.

In one of the earliest issues of the comic, the gamers are told they enter a peaceful meadow, with butterflies and flowers. So, they gear up for the inevitable sneak-attack-ambush from death dealing bad guys. But the GM (the game master) tries to tell them there is nothing there. "It's peaceful."

"Off in the distance, you see a gazebo."

"I shoot it with my crossbow."

"uhhhhh ...."

"And I throw a fireball at it. What is it doing?"

"Doing?" responds the GM. "Nothing. Its a gazebo. Its just standing there."

So, they throw everything they have at it, and burn it to the ground. Because gazebos must be big and fierce and have lots of treasure. Riiiiiight.

Its hilarious, if you're a gamer. After reading through the dozen that I have, my son decided he wanted to learn how "to game."

Well, okay. I played a little bit back in college, for a few months. Then I ran a game called DragonRaid for our church youth group. After college, but before I got married. It was a Christian role playing game designed specifically for discipleship. There was an Overlord of Many Names (God) who sent his son (Jesus) to lead the Once Born (the unsaved) into the promised land, and become Twice Born (Christians). It was all very blatant and straight forward. You fought against bad guys whose primary attacks weren't physical, but temptations. You needed to memorize scriptures for various effects. Your armor is the Helmet of Salvation, the Breastplate of Righteousness, etc. You get the point.

Anyway, it was designed for a GM, and several players. Not a one-on-one session. So, I started digging around the internet, and fount a HUGE selection of games out there. Free ones. Fantasy. Science Fiction. Western. Cyperpunk. Future. Past. And even a few Christian ones.

Several of the smaller ones were generic. They gave the basic barebones of the game mechanics, and let the GM design the world. Soooo, I decided to run with a simple one, and design a generic fantasy world to drop my son into. He can run around, bashing things, and I'll have some one-on-one time with him before he hits those turbulent teen years.

Deuteronomy 6.7-9 commands that I talk to my children about God and his laws while we walk and talk and sit and eat and everything. Well, with a car, we don't walk too much. And sharing as few meals as we do these days, we don't sit and eat much either. BUT, this is my chance. I can walk from one end of Narnia to the other with my son this way, picnic on the moon, eat dessert in an old saloon, and go swimming across the oceans of Middle Earth.

I'm looking forward to this. I think it will be fun. I'll let you know.

A Passion for Truth

"On the big issues it was not enough to be right--passion was vital. Now that sense of intellectual urgency has dissipated. Tolerance, relativism, the postmodern refusal to commit, the cultural triumph of uncertainty--all these rule out a repeat of the pyrotechnics in H3."

This is a quote from the end of the book Wittgenstein's Poker by David Edmonds & John Eidinow. It is "The story of a Ten-Minute Argument between two Great Philosophers." Although I won't recap the whole book here, suffice it to say I loved it.

But this quote at the end really grabbed my attention. "It wasn't enough to be right--passion was vital." Have we in Christendom lost that? Our passion? I guess your answer will depend on which church you go to. Or which clique you hang out with. But in America, I just don't see it. We want to be right. We know we are right. But where has the passion gone?

The two philosophers were Popper and Wittgenstein. Both were born around the turn of the last century. Both lived in Vienna, saw the rise of anti-Semitism, Hitler, and were Jewish. Wittgenstein believe that philosophy dealt with puzzles stemming from language. (I may be misunderstanding his overall philosophy, but this is what I got from the book.) There are no real problems left, just difficulties left over from our inability to fully articulate what we know.

Popper disagreed, stating that there are real, actual problems. His book The Open Society is credited with being instrumental in the downfall of the Soviet Bloc. His work dealt with the world as it was, and he caused real-world change through his teachings and his writings.

Both men were equally passionate about their beliefs: puzzles versus problems. (This is a gross simplification, though.) But, despite Popper's influence, it is Wittgenstein that seems to have had a greater impact on society at large. Whereas Popper countered specific problems, Wittgenstein dealt more with life in general.

From what I understood from the book, whether he intended it or not, Wittgenstein brought about this "culture of uncertainty." Who can know the mind of another? When I say yellow, and you think of yellow, are we really seeing the same color? Who is to say this is right for all people all the time? I just don't know if this is right or not. Each person should make up their own minds about certain issues. We don't have the right to enforce our morality on another person. To each his own. Its all relative. We need to tolerate one another's differences, and even celebrate them.

Yes, this sounds like the society I live in today. Tolerance. Relativism. Uncertainty. Refusal to commit.

So, back to the first sentence. 'Its not enough to be right--passion is vital.' Now, its reversed. Passion is everything, but the need to be right is gone, since we, as a society, no longer believe in larger Truths. Moral Absolutes have disappeared. With them, a solid foundation for relationships has gone by the wayside. Not just friendships have been affected, but marriages, the affluent vs the needy, cities fighting over water, customers suing major corporations hoping to score some easy cash, nations going to war with other nations, or fighting to control their own people. Much of this has happened because people no longer believe in an absolute right and wrong.

Galileo once proved that the earth is no longer the center of the universe. Scientists, and philosophers, have proven to us that we are an insignificant mistake in an uncaring universe, "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." I love the imagery in The Second Coming by W.B. Yeats.

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

We have lost our center, and we can no longer hear our Falconer. So, we have made ourselves, each individual, the center of our own little pocket universe. The Bible asks if the mother can forget her own child. The answer, surprisingly, is yes. Read the daily headlines. You'll see it.

Looking at things on a cosmic scale, when galaxies collide, there is massive destruction, as stars swallow each other, planets are ripped apart, and black holes are formed. I know it is petty, but I long for the day when our individual realities collide with God's Reality. No more uncertainty. No more puzzles. No more problems.

Despising mothers

Too many holidays, too few holy days.

I went to church on Mothers Day. Not surprising there. I expected my wife to receive a flower, or a bookmark. Something cute, but inexpensive. She got a baggie of candy, with a smarmy poem explaining why she got a mint, a Starburst, and whatever else was in there. (The mint is for your commit'mint'.)

And, of course, we can't leave anyone out, so the baggies of candy were for all the adult women in the congregation that day. I think thats what really got my goat. So, I thought to myself, Mothers Day isn't for mothers anymore? Apparently not. We can't leave out anyone. Why not? Do we despise our mothers that much?

Why not? I ask again. We don't want to hurt feelings, maybe. Or appear to be exclusive. Or maybe the church just bought too many bags of candy and needed to get rid of the excess. (Although I doubt that was the issue, since I'm almost sure the fathers were treated to the same baggies with slightly altered poems.)

So, neither fathers nor mothers are special enough to receive their own 'holiday' anymore. Its all inclusive, because ... I don't know why. I felt insulted. Not for myself, because I knew it was coming for me on Fathers Day. I was insulted by the way my wife was treated. It was as though she were told that, although this day is for mothers, she's not really any more special than any other woman in the congregation that day.

Woopee. Lets dress in green, white & red and celebrate the Iranian election on July 4th. After all, they're a democracy, too. Lets set off a few fireworks to celebrate their freedom.

And don't get me started about the commercialization of Christmas. ("Happy Holidays", anyone?)

If modern Christians can't maintain that special something that sets these days apart from all the others, then what would make the world think that there is anything different about our religion? I don't want to celebrate the Canadian Thanksgiving, even though I enjoy eating. Nor do I decorate the house for Cinco de Mayo. I'm not a Mexican. Neither of those countries hold any attraction for me. And neither does Christianity hold any attraction for the many people. And why should it?

We've watered down the message and tried to incorporate it into mainstream culture. It won't work. Christianity is about the Absolute Truth, not about popularity. As long as churches, and Christians, are trying to be popular and inclusive and non-offensive, the Gospel cannot be truly shared. After all, Jesus was crucified because it was offensive. Telling people they are going to hell is offensive. "You aren't going to heaven because you don't meet up with God's standards," is exclusive.

Deitrich Bonhoeffer wrote about the Cost of Discipleship versus cheap grace. Discipleship is hard work. Being a follower is easy. You hang around with the right crowd, but it doesn't get you invited up to the Mount of Transfiguration, or into the garden to pray the night before the crucifiction.

You can get a bag of candy on Mothers Day, or Fathers Day, just because of your gender. But that doesn't make you a parent anymore than going to church makes you a Christian.